Hindsight is always 20-20, But looking back it's still a bit fuzzy

today is the one month mark till i become the big 3.0 or thirty as they used to call it in the olden days. since this momentous occasion is creeping near, i have been taking some time out of my busy schedule to do some soul searching, and to mainly ask myself one basic question: what the heck happened to my life? here i am about to turn thirty, and can only wonder what happened to my life. i have heard that when people are faced with insurmountable odds or danger is looking them square in the face, they often have out of body experiences, where they watch their life pass right before them. i haven't had that opportunity yet, but i am sure that it would pretty quick, and pretty painful to watch. having lived my current life for almost thirty years, when i look back all i can think of is where did the time & everything go. this may sound like another depression induced rant by yours truly (and maybe it is), but i have been doing some soul searching as i have also been pondering, & wondering on the choices i have made. we all have had to make choices, and i am wondering if some of the choices i have made along the way have been wrong or not the best ones. here i am looking at thirty, and i still don't have my bachelors degree. i can boast an associates degree from one of the top colleges out there (spc), but it doesn't seem to compete in the real world against a bachelor's, or even a higher degree. i can remember back in my youthful days, and i knew i wanted my career to be playing pro basketball for the nba. it started way back in my elementary school days, but after being beaten one of my teachers who was wearing cowboy boots, and was shorter than me (even back then). that let me know that it wasn't going to be realistic for me to able to compete in nba (wnba possibly, just for you steph). then in my early teen days it changed to being a professional skateboarder, but by high school i was pretty sure that i didn't have what was needed on a skill level to compete, and make a living at it. then i started to move towards films & film making, and although it is still a strong interest of mine, i have come to realize its not all the glitz & glam or blood & violence that i once thought it to be, but a cesspool of remakes & unoriginality that goes along with lots of grotesque fill in the blank_________ . i have worked on several films (most of them have never been finished), but no project yet has been able to light the fire under my backside to get me to put all my eggs in that basket & roll the dice. around this time i also thought about screenwriting. as i am sure for the 5 that read this blog, you know i can't write a correct sentence using the correct punctuations or use the right word with the right context. now that i have looked down on my life's path, and have wondered what in the heck took place, i seem to remember that i met a young lady (although 30 now, so young might not be the appropriate word), and had a world wind romance with her, and even got married (to which i am still married to this not so young lady, and am even more in love with her today than ever ;) (that ought be land me some brownie points)). i have several close friends that i keep in touch with somewhat regularly (from once a week to once a month), and they are the best. although i am still looking for new friends or replacement friends, if you know somebody that would fit in with this motley crew, please have them send in their applications to me for review. i also have two little demons, i mean boys, who are the light of my life. they are the biggest pains in my back, but i can't stay mad at them when they tell me that "daddy your a decepticon, but i love you anyways". who can resist that, being called a bad guy, and at the same time being let told that you are still loved. before i get too fruity with this post, i wanted to end by saying, even though right now i am not doing exactly what i would like to do as a career, i can at least say that "i have job" (as i have been reminded of quite a bit lately). so for those of looking back on life and saying "man i am doing exactly what i want to do with myself" forget you. for those of you, who like me, may have had life not turn out so far not as planned, hopefully there is enough good stuff in your life to help you want to keep from call dr. kevorkian, if not, then take up a hobby like watching sports, or fill in the blank_________. adios amigos.